Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery but
compliments are the most efficient and
gold is the heaviest and
a grope in the dark is the most direct.
I’ll meet you in the library;
I’ll take one of each.
Darling it takes a great deal of flattery
to furnish such a grand house.

There was a tiger skin rug and martini glasses,
there was a teleprompter, tasteful cufflinks
and a baby swan.
No one had fed the snake for days, for time seemed foggy,
illusive, elusive
something that had once concerned us but no longer held value.
I declared that we had everything we needed - the dinner party couldn’t possibly fail!
We drank firstly from the good crystal and then
from the men’s leather brogues and a milk jug shaped like a cow.
Eventually we drank straight from bottles,
and then
afterwards
from each other’s open palms, messily lapping the bourbon and champagne and pinot noir and vermouth. There was a low hum of satisfaction beneath the caterwauling and showboating. A hedonistic current, a sustained murmur of encouragement to us all. Someone knocked over the last coupe and the glass spoiled the second it struck marble. We felt at peace we felt in pieces, at least for a while, at least until the booze ran dry and stale, just like the untouched dinner, a table heavily laden with roasted birds, wilted herbs.

The satisfaction gave way to routine: the repetition of this evening that had hazily occurred five thousand times before, the only variation to be found in the variety (brand) of liquor, or the particularity of the scandal. We mixed things up by having a screaming competition by the pool - but this solved nothing as a winner was never determined, despite one of us being a clear banshee.

I lived as far away from you as possible, given the circumstances: we shared the same mattress after all. We staked our territories viciously, we prowled the boundaries. By now it was just you and I, the guests stumbled away from the front lawn and the snake had starved to death. I feel sorry for the coldest blooded animal pacing in this house.

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Featured in issue 002 of SPAMZINE: https://www.spamzine.co.uk/spam002